The Return of Corrupt-A-Wish

[ToastyTordy]

Granted, you are now the world's fastest reader and can read a whole library in mere minutes. Sadly, your reading comprehension majorly suffers and you remember nothing you read so you are constantly re-reading in a desperate attempt to remember what you read but you can't slow down no matter what now. You begin a slow...err...speedy descent into insanity.

I wish I was already graduated from college and had my dream job awaiting me.

[Spawn]

Congratulations! Your job is awaiting you! You have a great, well paid job! So great, in fact, that you are killed for it. Shame that you missed that class on dealing with assassins.

I wish that I had time to train for running events AND throwing.

[nephilistic]

GRANTED: you have plenty of time on your hands when you get expelled for hate crime when your thrown item gets within 100 feet of someone who is a little paranoid and not identical to you in ethnicity gender and/or religion. Shame you have to be in a school to be on the team.

I wish I had someone to chauffeur me to Maine tomorrow.

[Meems]

Granted! You are on your way to Maine in the back of a reasonably comfortable minivan... however, what you do not know is the rather muscular driver intends to bring you to their house and lock you in their basement for an indefinite amount of time. We'll be seeing you! ...Someday.

I wish I had more time to fool around on the internet today.

[Spawn]

Congratulations! You have 24 hours a day to fool around on the internet! You lose your job, stop sleeping, and eventually die of dehydration! Oh well, you wouldn't have been able to pay your bill anyways.



I wish that I didn't have multiple tan lines. I NEED TO BE ONE, UNIFORM TAN COLOR!!!!!

[nephilistic]

Granted: to get your tan to maximum you lock yourself in a tanning bed for about 3 days. you are now a nice uniform tan color, cooked to a golden brown counts.


I wish everyone's IQ would go up 50 points so conversations would develop some value.

[StarlitLullaby]

Wish granted, but now you have the lowest IQ of all the people you talk to and they are wishing the same thing about you.

I wish that I could clone myself so I can slack off and get work done at the same time.

[nephilistic]

Granted! It's so easy you can make half a dozen of yourself. All the clones work very hard and make some nice money. Unfortunately the government has issues with there being 7 of you so they put you in jail for identity theft and  your clones get a fat reward for turning you in as the mastermind if the little syndicate you created.

I wish there was a menu for community service as punishment. I'd like to cash in on this volunteer work I've been doing but I have no idea what I have already paid my debt to society for.

[ToastyTordy]

Congrats! There is now a community service menu, and you also now know what your debt to society is. You can now cash it, but it isn't even close to enough...you will be working in a chain gang from now on...

I wish whoever thought of finals on a Saturday would rethink that idea and just give us all A's for our troubles.

[nik the foamsmith]

after some rethinking they decide to make school year long in an "effort to prep you for the real world"  this also come with weekend and overnight classes.   

....now i need a wish. 

ha i wish for a wish

[Keyblade Prime]

That was the best wish you ever had shame it never got granted.

I wish I had a pet troll that would go about the countryside putting people I didn't like in his big burlap sack and stealing then away in the night.

[nephilistic]

granted. The troll scoops up everyone that has ever annoyed you in the slightest way, starting with your friends and family. Soon you are all alone but not for long the troll noticed that you were upset with yourself for making that wish.


I wish I didn't have to deal with going to court about this traffic silliness that's over a year old.

[Spawn]

I know that we aren't supposed to revive dead threads, but I can't help but attempt to bring back Corrupt-A-Wish!

Wish Granted. Instead of making you go to court, they just assume that the person being prosecuted is innocent.


I wish that the scheduler at my work hadn't scheduled me only for weekends (I specifically asked for them off!)

[StarlitLullaby]

Wish granted, but now you don't have any other days off, including vacations.

I wish it was PortCon 2012 now.

[AnimeAspieFanatic]

Wish granted! You now have a time machine that will transport you to the days of Portcon's past and future! Unfortunately 2012 was proven to be true and you are vaporized on your way to PC 2013

I wish to have my own nyan cat to ride around in space :D